Thursday, January 10, 2008

Saving Geezer Pervs

As of 10:30 this evening, I am now certified in CPR by The American Heart Association. What does this mean, you ask? It means that I will now be able to assist geezer and not-so-geezer patrons of our establishment who may have over-indulged to the point of cardiac arrest, stroke, diabetic shock, alcohol poisoning, choking, injury or drug overdose.

I shudder at the thought of having to give some old smelly perv mouth to mouth or trying to resuscitate a stripper who has popped one too many pills. I will surely do it, though. Yes, yes I will.

That's all I've got for now, as I'm still shuddering.

5 comments:

smithjones said...

I promise to brush, floss, and gargle before I have my heart attack.

Nyree said...

Well, I really admire that ability. I don't know if I could help just any random person in that way. I've also never been put in that position so who knows!

dina a.k.a. KiKi said...

Nyree, I hope I never have to do it, but I will....yes, I surely will. Ack.

Thank you for that, smithjones...how very considerate of you! =)

The Editor said...

Hey Kiki,
Ty so much for the link, I added your site to my links.

Cardplayer
TheRealJTVGossip.com

Pami In Miami said...

Two days after I was certified, a woman had a stroke in the fitting room at Ann Taylor. I had to climb over the top of the fitting room 'cause her body was blocking the door. I started CPR while a co-worker called 911. It was so surreal. I'd always thought like nyree, that I didn't have it in me. The adrenaline just took over my mind/body and I leaped into action. I was like a damn superhero. ME, of all people.
Hopefully, you'll never have to use it but if you do, it sure is one hell of a ride.

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