Why, oh why, do you hate me so? I saw you, sitting alone, forlorn on the shelf at the store and I felt your loneliness and pain calling out to me. All you wanted was a warm, loving home and I could feel your longing. I gently lifted you from your prison on the shelf and lovingly placed you in my cart. I whispered to you that now you were going to be safe and not to worry, you won't be stomped on by the morbidly obese. I could feel your shame that I had to pay for you, like a slave, but I reassured you that money was of no concern, you would finally be safe.
When we got home, to your new home, I slowly slid you out from your confining box and stroked your head, whispering to you that everything was going to be okay now, you are finally home.
So, please, please tell me why you insist on telling me that I weigh FIVE POUNDS MORE than my old broken down scale used to tell me?? I've been so good to you. I rescued you. I gave you a safe, loving home. I LOVED you. You've betrayed me. How will we ever get past this?
4 comments:
LMFAO! oh god my own worse enemy!
Our scales are horrible, wretched things. Why are we so attached? Food for thought. No pun intended.
Hi there!
I read the Wild and Wacky Weekend post a few days ago and really enjoyed it. My comment didn't go through apparently! Anyway, I think you're a good writer. Following you on Twitter BTW. :)
Thank you, starlightwriter! I'm following you toooooooooooooo =)~
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