Off Topic

This post has absolutely nothing to do with My Life in a Strip Club.

When I finally got home after working 16 hours on Sunday, I decided to wind down by perusing YouTube. I stumbled across a large number of videos with SSBBW in the title. Now, I know what BBW stands for but I had never seen SS in front of it. So I clicked. Two hours and countless videos later, I was still clicking. I could not stop watching.

There is an entire underground society dedicated to women (and men) who deliberately gain weight for the purpose of sexual gratification. They eat on camera. They indulge in "belly play". They show off every nook and cranny, giving "tours" of their bodies. I consider myself fairly well versed in sexual fetishes but this was a new one for me. Why on earth would any self-respecting human being deliberatly gorge themselves like this? I say "self-respecting" because most of these "gainers" speak of loving themselves and their bodies. I'm all for people loving themselves just the way they are, even if they don't fit into what society deems acceptable. But to destroy their bodies in this fashion on purpose? That, in no way can be considered self- respect.

Having said all that, I could not stop clicking. Video after video, I watched with open mouth and unblinking eyes, speaking aloud to myself, "WTF??" It takes a lot to shock me nowadays. This shocked me beyond words. Yet still, I could not tear my eyes away from my computer screen. I was having a classic "trainwreck" reaction. I was horrified and compelled and I could not stop.

Finally, tearing my eyes away from the screen, I saw that my three dogs were staring at me with pleading eyes, "Mommie, can we please go to bed now?" It was almost 7:00 am and the sun was peeking through my windows. I actually had to speak out loud to myself, "Enough. Turn it off and go to bed. Now."

By the time I made my way to my bed, I had already inspected every inch of my own body to insure that I, in no way, resembled any of the women whose videos I had watched. I was terrified that I would have a sudden onset of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. The inspection took several minutes, as I just could not get the YouTube images out of my head. Everything turned out alright in the end. I did indeed look exactly as I thought I did. Whew.

When I got to work yesterday, I felt the need to share my YouTube experience with a couple of my bartenders. They laughed, acted horrified, asked questions and I know for a fact that they would go home later that night and search YouTube to see for themselves.

Watch, if you dare.....you may not be able to turn away.